A DIRT JOB

 

I put this on the site to show how a good "dirt job" can be done by not telling the whole truth. We are often told that there are lies, damn lies and tabloid reporters.

This job was done by a "huge pig farmer" for his masonic mate.

Only twenty people were there and the owner had been told that an audience of at least one hundred was essential. My manager told me not to do the show, but I thought that an intimate demonstration might work. It didn't - everything was against me.

Archie, (my manager)

The owner must have phoned many papers. Several papers phoned me to do an article. However, when I explained, they were not interested.

The show was on a very cold day with no heating. The owner came round selling "hot" meat pies! Even they were cold. Everyone was moaning.

It was so cold the keyboard player complained that it made his machine go off key!

Left is a picture of my manager. The owner of the restaurant was Archie's mate!

Sunday People April 30th 1978

THE GREAT KI

HAS HIS ACT

KI-BOSHED!

By Hugh Farmer

T H E cabaret act that hypnotist Ki Vinca put together was pure Tommy Cooper.

Billed as the "Mystery man of Magic" he was all set to astound his audience.

But, Ki left them, and himself-dumbfounded. Somehow, the "fluence" had deserted him.

Every one of his amazing feats of hypnotism at a restaurant in Wishaw, Lanarkahire, flopped.

TRICK No.1: Ki told the audience to clasp their hands, assuring them they would stick together.

Sunk

The hands fell apart ... and so did the audience with laughter:

TRICK No.2: Ki handed a glass of beer to a volunteer and promised he wouldn't be able to drink it because it would taste like whisky. Seconds later the ale had been sunk... and so had Ki's reputation. Undaunted he came up with:

TRICK NO. 3: Restaurant owner's son Robert Dougall was ordered to walk a plank of wood.

Ki told the audience he would be terrified because he would feel that he was 5O0ft above the ground. Robert walked the plank fully conscious and unafraid. Then KI announced:

TRICK No.4: Another volunteer was told he would be unable to lift a can of beer from the floor. It was plucked from the stage like a feather..

By this time, most of the audience were inducing trances at the bar.

At his home in Stoneyburn, West Lothian the great Ki- alias 44-year-old Ted Allwind, a stage performer for just 18 months recalled his night of disaster.

"I'm now practising hard or the Ki Vinca show mark II. But, it wasn't entirely all my fault. I shouldn't have been billed the Mystery man of Magic. I'm a hypnotist - at least I used to be - and I need proper reaction from the audience. They were cold and unresponsive - I need a warm, intimate atmosphere."

Restaurant owner Mr. Neil Dougall said, "I've had enough of hypnotists for a while. Our cabaret isn't usually so disastrous as Ki Vinca."

HYPNOSIS