I love you!
WHO AM I?
Do you love me?
(Some of the events spoken of here have had further developments. See the individual indexes)
I'm not sure that I can answer that. We tend to think of people as notwho they are but what they are. i.e. butcher, baker, candle stick maker. However, we are all much more than that.
I am male, extrovert, self conscious, willing to please, an easy giver but a bad taker, lazy but rush in where angels fear to tread, quick decision maker, love people & animals, intelligent (IQ 154), basic education, 5'8'' tall, 13 stone, inductive rather than deductive thinker, slow to rile but psycho if roused, honest (99%), basic moralist no politics or religion. I have no interest in gardening, DIY or sport.
So, I am handsome, intelligent, educated, knowledgeable, experienced and extremely modest!
WHAT? (MY CV)
I have been a London bus driver, piloted a jet plane, been an atomic fire-fighter, driven a crack steam express, been a stage hypnotist and hypnotherapist, had a book published and done a lot of other interesting things including getting a criminal record!
WWII caused me to be taken from my home. First to Hermatige, Berkshire then to West Runton, Norfolk.
At twelve years old, I put a lot of cine film in a bottle and set light to it. It exploded. The bang was heard a couple of miles away. I still have the scar on my chin. It was almost a fatal. Just think; I could have not been here to entertain you!
At fifteen, I left Modern Secondary School. I was in the first group to stay until fifteen rather than fourteen. I left with no qualifications. At one time, I was put in the dunce's class because I was always bottom in exams.
I started work as an office boy. That lasted two weeks. A typist hit me so I hit her back! So, out I went. In the following three years, I had thirteen jobs. Among them were bakehouse lad, shop boy, coalman and engine fireman.
National Service claimed me for the RAF from 1951 to 1953. My trade was Aero Engine Mechanic (Air-cooled). Not bad for a boy with no education. This was because my hobbies were photography, radio and motor bikes.
In the forty-five years from 20yo. to 65yo. I had about sixteen jobs and eighteen homes. Most of this time was as busman, work study engineer & manager and accountant. Some time was spent in factories as a semi-skilled worker. After starting from Dagenham I moved to Basildon, Essex; then to Kiderminster, Worcestershire for two years; then to Scotland for twenty-nine years. Now I am back in Basildon where I have been for the past two years. I have been in sheltered housing for four years.
My mum and dad were from the East End of London and moved out to Dagenham, Essex in the late twenties. My mother had five boys and one girl. The first boy died aged five and the last boy was stillborn. One son died aged forty-seven with heart trouble. All the males in the family die early but the females are long livers. Dad died at sixty-five and mum at eighty-four.
I've been married twice; well I said that I'm an animal lover! The first was my true beté noire and still is. The second; I still love her. There were four children of the first marriage and a stepdaughter from the second.
(Now see here)
My last marriage broke up in 1990 after twelve years together. I had a heart attack in 1991. (My son said it was a broken heart). It was discovered that I had been having small attacks for the previous ten years. The specialist said that I needed a double by-pass, but I declined. I wasn't interested in living. They thought that I would last for only two years, but eight years later I'm still here! It seems that the males in the family have a predisposition to heart trouble.
Since my heart attack, I have been trying to protect myself from emotional stress. My experience oftwo years ago frightened me.
When my father died, he left little other than memories. A piece of his moral prose is this :-
King Akhtoi 1st king of the 9th dynasty of Egypt 2271 BC
A letter to his son.
Be diplomatic in speech; speech is more powerful than any armament, none being able to circumvent a clever speaker.
Respect a life of energy, for self- complacency will make a wretched man of you; yet a fool is he who is greedy of what others possess.
Take care that you do not punish wrongfully.
Slay not any man that is about you, for God in whose care he is, commends him to you.
Do not make a distinction between the son of a noble and one of humble birth. But take a man to you because of his merits.
Indolence would ruin heaven itself.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
This is how I tried to conduct myself professionally
YOU can buy a man's time,
YOU can buy a man's physical presence at a given place,
YOU can buy a measured number of skilled muscular actions, per hour, per day,
BUT, you cannot buy a man's LOYALTY,
YOU cannot buy a man's INITIATIVE,
YOU cannot buy a man's ENTHUSIASM,
YOU cannot buy DEVOTION of heart, mind or soul,
THESE THINGS YOU HAVE TO EARN.
Below are two pieces of verse. The first was my father's, and I used to try to live by the morals it contains, though in a non-religious way. The second is how I have tried to harden my feelings (without much success!).
Lord help me to live from day to day
In such a self forgetful way
That even when I kneel to pray
My prayers shall be for -OTHERS
Help me in all the work I do
To ever be sincere and true
And know that all I'd do for you
Must need be done for - OTHERS
Let "Self" be crucified And slain
And buried deep: and all in vain
May efforts be to rise again
Unless to live for - OTHERS
And when my work on earth is done
And my work in heaven's begun
May I forget the crown I've won
While thinking still of: OTHERS
Others, Lord yes, others,
Let this my motto be
Help me to live for Others
That I may live like THEE
THE THOUGHTS OF KI
WHEN MY PHYSICAL BONDS ARE LOOSED
OUR SPIRITUAL BONDS
I WILL NEVER AGAIN
BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONE
I DO NOT HAVE TO DO
ANYTHING THAT I
DO NOT WANT TO
MY TIME BELONGS TO ME
NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY
MY PEACE FROM
I WISH TO HEAR THE MUSIC
SO I WILL NOT PLAY IN THE ORCHESTRA
LONELINESS IS A CONDITION
OF THE MIND
NOT A STATE OF THE BODY
IN THE BEGINNING
WAS THE WORD
AND THE WORD WAS
COPYRIGHT 1995 KI VINCA
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