A GRAND-DAD'S ADVICE

At the time of writing - Friday, 22 November 2002 - Carl has phoned me a couple of times to tell me that Chloe has phoned him complaining that she has no control over Carl Jnr. He told me that all Chloe does is stamp, scream, and shout at Carl Jnr. On the other side, he also says that Carl Jnr will not listen to anyone who talks to him, just making silly noises! Not a desirable relationship at all.

My problem is that I know that Chloe is impossible to live with. Also, I have to confess that I am 'pleased as Punch' that she is getting her 'come uppance'! Still, the most important person here is Carl Jnr. He has been tossed from 'pillar to post' without the benefits of a normal family life.

Chloe is performing now, how she did when the family was together. That is why, when the children had to decide who they wished to leave the family home, they chose Chloe.

 I know that CJ (Carl Jnr) visits this site most days, so I am trying to give him advice via the site. Again, I know that Chloe visits the site, and I hope that this page does not make things worse for him. For the past thirteen years, or so, I have avoided the 'tug of love' situation. I have not got involved with CJ's life unless I have felt that he was in danger. This has happened some four or five times.

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So, here is my open letter to you, CJ :-

Hi, CJ,

I always preface any advice I give within the family, with the statement that I believe that Chloe is an evil person. They can then judge the validity of that advice.

As I say, you are the important person here. You are old enough to understand how you should behave. From what I hear, you are heading for a life of conflict with all authority. This will inevitably lead to a life of crime. This is just destroying your own life in order to 'get at' others. It is the ultimate price to pay. You can do most of what you want, and still live within the boundaries set by society.

In the end, you WILL become an adult, and you will HAVE to live within society's boundaries or pay the penalties.

It would be ideal if you could get away from Chloe, but that does not seem feasible. Your dad could not give you the family environment that you need. If there are counsellors at college or with social services, (I know they are sometimes the problem!), then why not get advice and help. Or, is there an independent adult in whom you have confidence.

The 100, that I sent you, is to mark your entry into adult life. I'm not keen on birthday and anniversary presents, it all seems hypocritical to me. People buy each other presents one day, and shit on them the next!

Your dad tells me that you spend an inordinate time playing computer games. Nothing wrong in playing them, though I think that you have to be a moron to do so! Why not write the games. That's what the really clever people do. Then they make boodles out of the idiots who gawk at their monitors for 90% of their lives! I wrote a computer game, back in the early eighties, for the Dragon computer. Lesley wrote the story. Didn't sell it, and I made nothing out of it, but it was an achievement to do it.

Just a thought! Why not set up your own web site. The subject can be anything you like ........ (maybe reviewing your favourite (or otherwise) computer games!!)

Elsewhere, I have said that I believe that, at some time, you and Chloe will come to a situation of extreme conflict, and that it could end with loss of life. This would be a true tragedy.

If things get that bad, just walk away, and get to your dad's place.

Yours with great concern, (and hope)

Grand-dad

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