DIVORCE STATEMENT TO END THE MARRIAGE WITH CHLOE
While looking for the master tapes for my hypnotherapy tapes,I found some old documents that I thought had been lost. I found the letters that Chloe sent to me over the four years after I divorced her for cruelty. Later I will put some of these on the site so that you can see how twisted she is. So that she cannot say that I have "invented" them, I will photocopy them for the site.
Click here to see the decree (zoom in)
Statement made in 1975
My wife and I were married on 20th. February 1954 when she was pregnant. My father did not want me to marry her because she was pregnant and because her mother had a long history of mental illness. Other objections he made were that she was illegitimate and coloured. It was his opinion that eventually she would become mentally ill. Because I loved her and thought that if I took her away from her bad home conditions she would be safe, I married her. I was 20, she was 17.
I had just come out of the R.A.F. after 2 years National Service and my main job for the next 10 years was as a bus driver and conductor. I left twice to take up other jobs. While I was on the buses I went to day and evening classes to study for '0' levels - this was 1956/58. I passed in Maths, Eng. & Economics. While I was taking this course, we were living in two rooms 9' by 9'. One room was a bed/kitchen room, the other a living room. It was about 1956 when my wife first seriously threatened my life. She took a pair of scissors to bed and held them against my back. She also tried to gas me and the children and several times threatened to poison me. It seemed that she was jealous of my trying to get promotion and was trying to frustrate my ambitions. She often said that when I had a good job I would leave her for another woman.
We moved from the rooms to a house in May 1958 and I continued my studies with 'A' levels. My wife was still being violent and objecting to me being out in the evenings to college. I was working six days a week and going to college each Thursday and in the evenings. Many times, before going to college, I would have to physically remove her from the doorway to get out. Although it seems unbearable now, at that time I accepted it as part of the marriage. After a time I just gave up and stopped studying.
Believing that under these conditions I would never achieve anything, I took a job with a television firm, as I was interested in television. This still did not seem to satisfy her, and after an argument, I went to stay with my mother for one night. My wife reported me missing to the police and they contacted my employer. This almost caused me to lose the job. To try to keep the affections of my wife I took her out as often as possible. The neighbours remarked that she was lucky to be out most weekends seeing that she had four young children.
She has always been jealous and possessive and I suppose I have been flattered thinking it to be a deep love. It would now appear to be the symptom of her mental illness. Things reached a climax in 1961/62 when my brother asked me not to bring my wife into the company as she embarrassed people. She would never leave my side or join in the general conversation. She is even jealous of my mother, sister, sister-in-law, daughter, and every other female. She was always accusing me of having affairs. I have never had one. Because her behaviour was beginning to affect my nerves and making me almost a social outcast, in June 1962 I took out a divorce action. I dropped it because I had to cite my friends as witnesses and this would have made me even more unpopular. I ate 'humble pie', went back to my wife, and had another try to make the marriage a success.
In 1965, I passed the Institute of Work Study examinations and this helped me get a better job. Two months after I started the job, with Ford, my wife had her first breakdown. This was on 27th. March 1965 when she was compulsorily detained. This almost cost me my job, as I had to take time off to look after the children and subsequently attend counselling sessions with her with a psychiatrist and social worker. These sessions were one each week for twelve weeks. They were not a success because my wife would hardly speak during them.
In December 1965 I got a better job and left Ford's to work in Leatherhead. The firm had agreed to give me three months expenses to help me find a house in the area I left home each Monday and returned on Fridays. Two months after starting, my wife found herself a man friend from the London Weekly Advertiser, a dubious type of pen-friend paper. To keep her company I stopped lodging away and travelled to work each day. This took two hours each way. I found a house but my wife refused to move and I had to find a job in Dagenham. I was successful in finding a job in Dagenham and returned (April 1966).
After a while (April 1967) I again got a better job that was only 15 miles from Dagenham, was in a new town and offered a house. Things were a bit better, but here we again had serious arguments. I paid my wife on Fridays. She first asked me to pay her on Thursdays and a few months later asked to be paid on Wednesdays. On both times, the reason was to avoid busy shopping days. Later she complained to me that she was spending all her money before Saturday and had none left for the weekend. I was annoyed and made her have her house-keeping money on Fridays again. She went to the probation service on the Wednesday and alleged that I would not support her. This was despite the fact that she knew that she would be paid on the Friday. I received a letter from the probation officer on the Saturday. This is an example of how she uses the law to threaten and blackmail me.
We moved to Kidderminster when I went to work for British Leyland in April 1966 and about October she again went into a mental hospital. When I was studying for my 'O' levels I tried to help my wife by going over my lessons with her but if there was something she did not understand she accused me of trying to humiliate her. At Kidderminster, she went to evening classes for academic subjects and typing. She was also working and helping the meals-on-wheels. I tried to persuade her not to do academic subjects but others that would help her to be a good hostess. She said she was going to prove that she was as good as I, and get a similar job. It could have been this strain that caused her breakdown. It was at this time that the pressure was starting to have an effect on me and I was prescribed Vallium.
I took up my present position in December 1969 and moved to Scotland. Within a few days she had another breakdown and was in hospital for three weeks.
While I have been with British Steel Corp., she has often threatened to phone my General Manager and tell him about our sex life. I became so worried about this that I thought it better to tell him of her threats, which I did. Although he told me not to worry, it did not help my reputation. This is another example of her blackmail.
In late 1970, my wife decided to go home to Dagenham to visit her mother, whom, she imagined was dying. Most times, prior to having a breakdown, she had imagined such things. I had checked that her mother was OK, but my wife was determined to go to Dagenham. She took £18 of mine, but for some reason, before leaving the house, said she was going to hitch-hike. My daughter and I tried to stop her. I telephoned the police after my wife had slipped out of the house without my knowing. We searched for her but it wasn't till about 1.0 a.m. when the police telephoned, that we located her. My son, my daughter, and I collected her from Glasgow Central Police Station and it was obvious that she was having another breakdown. The next day she entered hospital.
In October 1970 we moved from Uddingston to Fauldhouse and again my wife had a breakdown and went into hospital in May 1971. She said afterwards, she had been worried about not having enough money. This occasion was quite traumatic in that she ran out of the house when the ambulance came and when she returned she threw a brick through the window. My daughter and I had to get hold of her and hold her down and tie her up. She was in hospital for about a month.
Over the next nine months, the constant threats to me, by my wife, with a knife, and the shouting became unbearable and I decided I could not stand it and I left in February 1971. I stayed away for a week but after she had written several letters, I decided to try again. When I returned we discussed the money problem. I took over the responsibility of everything, other than house-keeping, and asked my wife how much she required. She said £17/week. I gave her £20/week.
This did not seem to alleviate her worries and in December 1971 she again went into hospital and despite having sufficient house-keeping money had incurred debts of £58 which I settled. When I visited the psychiatrist, I explained that I was at the end of my tether, and that in the years of our marriage I had done everything to assist my wife in maintaining normal mental health and that now I could no longer bear the mental suffering, and would be starting a divorce. In March 1972, I commenced proceedings but dropped these as a result of my wife's impassioned pleas to again try to make a success of the marriage. My wife said that the reason for the breakdown was because she was worried about having too much money. She also told this to our daughter. My wife and I agreed that to relieve her of all money worries I should do all the budgeting and just give her pocket money. After a time she objected to this and managed the house-keeping budget herself again.
I got my son, Mischa, a job with my firm, British Steel Corp., as a technical apprentice, which had staff status. Without my knowledge, he was taking time off saying to his friends that he didn't need to work as he was paid when absent. He also did not attend his day release classes or evening classes. He was disciplined by his superiors several tines for being a disturbing influence at work. This resulted in him first being down-graded and then being dismissed. One evening my wife and I returned home early and he had barricaded himself in the front room and was having intercourse with his girl, while my daughter and other two sons were in the kitchen. While my wife and I were out he got drunk, took drugs, took away my car and smashed it. He was also convicted of stealing cutlery from the local school. He even persuaded his brothers to reset the cutlery. Another of his misdemeanours was passing dud cheques and I had to settle with his bank manager. Throughout the above period, which lasted for one and a half years, I tried speaking to him, denying him privileges and even turned him out, later letting him return. In writing off my car he was taken to hospital. I saw him in hospital, and gave him some money and told him not to return as his conduct was affecting the marriage. After he left, he married a neighbour's daughter, and when she became pregnant, he left. At no time did my wife give me any support in disciplining the boy, and this caused a lot of bitter arguments.
The combination of these incidents and others had a strong adverse effect on me. I again decided to leave. Before doing so, I decided to ask my children, who were 18, 16 and 16 years old, whether it should be me to leave or my wife. They decided that, because I could give them a more stable life that my wife should leave. After a long discussion, my wife accepted the decision and I agreed to give her £50 to start with and £40 per month for six months, or until she had got a job. She left in October 1973. She did not tell me that she had started work in November 1973 and I continued paying her £40 per month. In February 1974 I wrote to her and asked if instead of paying her two months at £40 I could pay her four months at £20. This was because I was short of cash. She wrote me a very insulting letter and immediately took out an action for aliment. She wrote to me very often and in August 1974 I again decided to give the marriage another chance and asked her to return.
Things were not too bad in the first two months after she returned, but my twin sons, taking advantage of the easy going nature of their mother, started to be undisciplined. One, at the age of 16, got drunk. They had hi-fi equipment and the mains wires were insulated with Elastoplast and Sellotape. They caused excessive noise. They destroyed my writing desk. They were dismissed from their job as apprentices at Ferranti for not attending day classes and misconduct at work. My wife never supported me when I disciplined the children and accused me of being a sadist, a Shylock, a killjoy and jealous of my sons' musical achievements.
In early June 1975 after a long talk with my daughter, I decided it would be better for her to live at home. At that time, she was living in a nurses' home. Because of the poor relationship between my wife and myself, I told my daughter to ask her mother if she could return home. Her mother refused and this made me very angry. I asked her if she would allow my eldest son, who had been turned out, to return. She said she would. This made me even more angry. It was this incident that led up to my being charged with threatening her in June 1975.
In May 1975 one of my twin sons, Carl, had a breakdown and was taken into hospital. Because of his previous conduct and the position of my own mental health, I told his psychiatrist that I did not want him to return home. This annoyed my wife and she was becoming scared that I would exercise the ultimate deterrent, as I had done with my eldest son, and turn them both out. This is why I believe that she engineered the knife incident to her own advantage i.e. if I went to prison I could not turn the twins out. Since I have left, the police have been called to the house several times because of the noise. My wife asked me to ask the police to call because the children were out of control. She confirmed this in a letter. They have been charged with driving offences concerning her car.
I left my wife in June 1975 because I was frightened that, irrespective of the verdict of the court, she would exploit the situation and possibly allege that a similar incident had occurred in the belief that she could use this as blackmail.
After the incident, while I was still with her, she mocked me by holding a knife in my face and in a theatrical aside said that I did not have any witnesses as she had had.
I have tried not to bear malice towards her and have again given her the aliment she asked for.
In the first few months, after we separated in June 1975, we saw each other. I explained that I was taking action to avoid her incurring debts in case she had a mental breakdown. She agreed that I should do this, but when she received the Letters of Inhibition she wrote me an insulting letter. After this I decided to have no more contact with her. She still writes to me and threatens my social life, and it is necessary for me to divorce her.
While we were living together she has often told me to
1. F--- off
2. asked me to put the house in her name
3. give her an allowance
4. has said that the children did not want me in the house
She has also often asked me to hit her so that she could have evidence to get rid of me. Again, I believe this is what she tried to provoke on 6th June 1975.
It is my belief that at no time did she intend not to give evidence at my trial for assault. The letter she wrote to the fiscal was to get sympathy and make me appear as the bete noir.
In May 1975, one son, Carl, stabbed Kevin his brother, and his mother with scissors. My wife did not tell me until Kevin had told me after being told off for misbehaviour.
Before the court case dealing with the assault charge on 25th November 1975, the local police approached me and asked me if I would speak to the twins, as it was obvious that they were beyond their mother's control. As the Minute of Agreement of our separation gave her custody of the children, I refused.
My wife has never liked any house we have ever moved into, even though later she has said that each has been the best. She is also determined not to settle in Scotland and I believe that the escalation of our bad marital relationship has been a direct result of her trying to get us to move back to London.
When my wife was living at Dagenham, Mischa, our eldest son whom I had turned out, saw her and 'borrowed' £40. She has never had it back. I have not seen him since he left.