On the page about the water rates I talk about a fella I call, Mr Porridge. I call him this because I believe that that is what he's got between his lug'oles!

His job title is, Community Liaison Officer. What I call a triple oxymoron. (Look it up if you don't know what I mean!) In keeping with his performance of his duties, I call him the Community Illusion Officer.

Now ............ this is unusual ............ I actually fail to achieve my objective! But, it gives me the opportunity to tell this story and highlight the hive of inactivity that is my local council office.

I live in sheltered housing along with neighbours who are mostly older that I am.

Our back gardens back onto a bit of open space, and our fence is about seven feet high.

For years, people have tried to get something done about the youngsters playing football and the ball coming into their gardens.

Several of my neighbours asked me to try to get something done about it.

This won't take long!

Over a period of about 4 months I spoke with Mr Porridge about five or six times. I gave him detailed proposals for consideration. Every time he said that he would come back to me and keep me up-to-date on any progress. He NEVER did.

I gave up. Not a normal thing for me to do. But, I just could not be bothered dealing with this (oxy) MORON!

Ted was a failure!